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not there yet

by Riley Lynn

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1.
stubborn 03:34
there’s a permanent spot in my room for the jacket i stole from you there’s a permanent place in my heart for the person i believe you are but i’ll admit my patience is running thin and you sure are pressing your luck & i can only assume this doesn’t matter to you, b/c otherwise we’d talk so who the hell do you think you are? i always thought i belonged on your arm but we never quite saw eye to eye so i don’t really know why i’m surprised i never thought it’d hurt this way guess i had hope you’d love me back eventually i always assumed it’d turn out okay my mistake cause i don’t need this from anyone especially not you you have proven yourself rather unworthy of a single cent of mine, let alone two so yes, i guess i’m stubborn i’ll admit that i’m a wreck but you’re no better, so keep it together and try not to let this go to your head there’s a permanent spot in my room for the jacket i stole from you there’s a permanent place in my heart for the person i believe you are
2.
i took to myself like most take to the sea nervous and just a little bit shaky on my feet and i know my hesitations don’t benefit me but every anxious tic is part of my identity and normal’s only better if it works for you and i don’t think that’s who i wanna be maybe you’re right i don’t know who i am but that should only matter to me i never thought id find a day i didn’t give a damn but I’ve been too reliant on invisible hands, as they push me along i wrote a song so maybe i could feel free free sometimes living’s a prison i think I’ve been forgiven by everybody but myself the hypocrite inside me is happy to baptize me in a pool of memories full of all the times I’ve failed and yes i know its not fair I’ve been ripping out my hair over just whats okay breathe in, breathe out, repeat now i think I’ve figured it out but its still not for me i didn’t think that it could get any worse i think id rather you just put me in the hearse already leave me to die leave me to live it would be easier than trying to be perfect for you just leave me alone just leave me alone
3.
4.
capo 2 // g em a7 c#m did you think you could ignore me for two weeks, and one little confession would fix things did you think i would wait forever for you? i thought about it, once or twice i still do from time to time was i not good enough? was that the tear in our seams? did i break down too much? did you hate what you'd seen? did i think you could change? what a fool i am they all told me you'd only love me in my dreams i tried to be, a little more civil, but i can't be, stuck in the middle for another summer, another year oh darling, my dear please make up your mind don't get me wrong, i like your smile, like your laugh, i like waking up in your bed on saturday mornings, but it's been a while since we've had that, been a while since you touched me don't think you wanted to love me how long did you think i would wait? i know you're broken, but doesn't mean you can avoid me and have me when you want me im a person - or did you forget that little fact? i want my summer back, but keep the necklaces, i couldn't take that back, from you i tried to be, a little more civil, but i can't be, stuck in the middle for another summer, another year oh darling, my dear please make up your mind i tried to be, a little more civil, but i can't keep solving all your little riddles i love you, don't you know? your hair, your nose, your pinky toes your jokes, your heart, your gasp, your mask when you get sad, i love that but i can't keep up with your pace, always turn it into a race, it's been a year now, yknow that? most people would have warmed up by now did you think you could ignore me for two weeks, and one little confession would fix things did you think i would wait forever for you? i thought about it, once or twice i still do from time to time
5.
6.
friends 03:31
LYRICS: oh, i wanna be friends, but we're girls and the boys, they might get jealous because you are so beautiful and everybody knows it i wanna be your friend like he used to baby, i want to but we're girls we sit in my car on the weekends talk and listen to the radio it's always FM but there's nothing wrong with us, i know it can be confusing, but i know we're choosing the right thing you're my kinda thing when i look at you i see nothing but love you're a blessing from above i don't know about gods, but i know about you, and i know that you're divine my momma told me that love is natural baby, don't worry 'bout money or stature we'll take care of each other - i'm yours, and you're my... friend, but we're girls and the boys, they are so jealous because you are so beautiful and everybody knows it i wanna be your friend like he used to baby, i want you but we're girls they stare sometimes, look into my eyes i don't care what they say you are everything, persephone in spring our love blooms like a garden your hair, your mind, your smile; you stick around a while i thank my lucky stars you do i wanna make you my wife, stay with you after life long as you're here forever 'cause we're friends, but we're girls and the boys, they are so jealous 'cause oh, you are so beautiful and everybody knows it baby, i want to be with you baby i want to you're my girl you're my girl
7.
bm, d, d#7, e7 maybe ill never go to bed maybe ill never go to sleep maybe ill never realize that theres a me without you, a you without me your love’s a cold and dead thing you wanted me to warm it up but lover dearest if you’ve gotta pin it down then it isn’t love i couldn’t give you what you need i guess you took it anyway and maybe that was easier for one of us but it was hardly a fair trade your hands are bruised into my hips those purple marks may never fade baby you heard every yes that you needed in the way that i pushed you away and i, i taste like copper and saltwater and everybody tastes like you how the hell do i manage to regret something i didn’t even do bloody knees, bloody tongue the rest of me remembers when my mind goes numb park the car and i turn off you’re not there but i can still taste copper i told my friend that i don’t spend the energy to hate but all those calories are being burned on you and i am sick and i am sour when im sitting in the shower knees buckled just cause i thought of you im not a violent person but my darling, i swear if you give me a second chance ill block off all your air you always told me that i looked best in blue its time i told you that you do too baby i just want closure and so what if it comes in the form of thumbs and fingers meeting fingers and thumbs it would just make us even and thats all that i want “baby you’re powerless, isn’t this fun?” i taste like copper and saltwater and everybody tastes like you how the hell do i manage to regret something i didn’t even do bloody knees, bloody tongue the rest of me remembers when my mind goes numb park the car and i turn off you’re not there but i can still taste copper

about

my first album was recorded mostly on a cellphone at the age of 16, and was released about a year later. i have thought many times about remastering it, but it always feels wrong - not there yet is called as such because i was still learning so much, and i continue learning daily. it’s an album about growth in its whole.

thank you to every audience at every open mic and gig i played leading up to this album, and everyone who was a guinea pig for song drafts. you’re the reason i could grow at all.

credits

released April 28, 2016

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Riley Lynn Ohio

my name is riley lynn and i am a 23 year old singer-songwriter from ohio.

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